Finding Your Style Series Part II: Your Relationship with Clothing

I hope you had a great weekend, enjoying it how you see fit. I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of the Spring transitional period. It's 30 in the morning, 45 inside, 68 outside - very difficult to get a grip on what to wear. My family celebrates Easter, and this holiday is always a colorful one, but sometimes it's snowing, sometimes it’s beach weather. 

Growing up in a fairly religious household, my “Sunday Finest” was quite literal. I had to wear a suit and tie every week. Dressing up wasn’t out of the ordinary during the week either. My father wore a tie everyday to work, my godfather, always in a suit. I was around it often. It focused my mind, much like when you start to fancy a specific car, you notice it everywhere.

In understanding your style, we have to do a bit of reflection. Style is presented as a very current state, you are either in that state of having style or not. But this dismisses a life of groundwork laid. In this series of finding your style, we started with the superficial: a closet audit. (read here). Now we have to do some mental work.

You have always had a style, now… whether it was good or bad, you or not you; that is a different story. Today I want to understand your style. We’re going to do this by focusing on your relationship with clothing, in the past, present and future. 

Past

Who dressed you when you were younger?

How did they dress?

What were you taught about clothing?

When did you begin dressing yourself?

How did you find that experience?

What has remained the same?

Who were your style inspirations?

Present

How would you describe your style now?

How often do you buy clothing?

Who are your style inspirations?

What is the most difficult part of getting dress?

Do you wish you could imp[rove the way you dress?

Is your closet neatly organized or messy? 

Are you content with your current wardrobe? If so, why?

Future

What major transitions will you make in the future?

What would your ideal wardrobe look like?

What changes would you like to make to your wardrobe in the future?

What is keeping you from having the perfect wardrobe?

What would you like your wardrobe to facilitate for you?

See, you have had a relationship with clothing your entire life. I need you to understand that. Say it out loud if you need to: I have had a relationship with clothing my entire life. Much like a good Health Coach, we cannot make a plan to move forward without knowing this relationship. 

I want you to think about this relationship, when you remember getting dressed as a kid is it a stressful memory? Did you have a power outfit, like a batman cape you wore everyday? The first date you went on, did your outfit go over well? Do you associate dressing for an event as a grueling task or an exciting opportunity? 

My style growing up was quite awful. I saw how expressive clothing could be and it was difficult to focus. I enjoyed dressing in a suit and tie. It opened my eyes to movies and shows, watching people like Tony Soprano every episode in a Hawaiian shirt, until he got down to business, he was in a suit. I began to understand you could switch the persona with an outfit. I was in an N.W.A. T shirt on Saturday with my friends, and a Ralph Lauren suit on Sunday morning. This admiration for the expressive nature did not need to be taken so literally. I could be myself in casual or dress. I was already working in retail as this revelation was taking place, and it would be years before I got a grip on it. Even now as I write this, I'm planning out pieces I want to invest in, they’re mostly casual. - A relationship with clothing, ever changing, but ever present.

After you’ve done this, maybe take a trip through your newly audited closet and see if there are some changes you’d like to make?