What is Style?
Style is an open book test. The issue is, some people are bad test takers, others are inundated by all the information and don’t know where to look, and of course, those who just skate by with minimal effort and maintain a passing grade. Whether we like it or not we are all graded on our appearance. Much like breathing or pumping blood through our veins, our brain makes snap decisions using our sense of vision.
Dressing well is a form of good manners. - Tom Ford
If you host a party, you will clean up the house. You might even yell at your kids to clean their rooms even though the guests will never see them. Why though? We don’t really expect people who enter to tell us to our faces, “wow your home is so clean!” There is a part of us that understands the power of seeing something visually pleasing. Our brain reacts, releasing serotonin, we feel good just because we saw something aesthetically enjoyable.
In an interview, fashion demi-God Tom Ford, was asked about the importance of dressing well, he stated, “Dressing well is a form of good manners.” Elaborating on this, other people have to see you; either during a presentation, on a date, or even just passing you on the street. We know that people have a chemical reaction to visual stimulation, so why not make it a pleasant experience? That is why a very large portion of my soul dies every time I hear, “I don’t care what people think of me.” Ouch. That hurts.
Style is the collision point between our fantasies of who we are, the larger realities we live with, and the way we are perceived by others. - Cintra Wilson
This is why style is an open book test. We know vision + aesthetics = good things. Yet many people get caught up. in the battle between Fashion and Style. Simply put, fashion is what you buy, style is what you do with it. Style is a look with consistent elements that resonate with who you are. It is your way of communicating with the world around you. Style does not = high price tags and floral head dresses. (The same way transportation can mean a bus pass or a Bugatti). Mark Zuckerberg has a style, Steve Jobs has a style, Tom Ford has a style, Adele has a style, Billie Eilish has a style. Did you ever think those names would be strung together?
Like it or not, you KNOW what you like. Stop making excuses. You know you like pleats vs plain front, slim fit vs high waisted, pattern vs solid. So, start there. Go into your closet and everything you, “had to buy because you needed it last minute” or a “gift you’re just hanging onto but hate”, get rid of it. To find your style you have to narrow down what you already own. If you are serious here is some passive homework you can do, do you have an Instagram? You can save pictures to a folder. The little flag on the right-hand side saves them, and you can make a “My Style” Folder.
This is from my Instagram. If you follow me, you can start to see the similarities in my style. It also keeps me accountable, so when I see some fancy suit with a dragon embroidery and get distracted, this brings me back.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your style can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
